“After seeing yet another deranged gorilla just burst into a public place and start killing people, I decided I need to make sure something like that never happens to me,” said 34-year-old Atlanta resident Nick Keller, shortly after purchasing a 350-pound mountain gorilla from his local gorilla store. “It just gives me peace of mind knowing that if I’m ever in that situation, I won’t have to just watch helplessly as my torso is ripped in half and my face is chewed off. I’ll be able to use my gorilla to defend myself.”
“Law enforcement and animal control can only get there so quickly,” Keller added. “And you never know when you’ll need to use a gorilla to save your life.”
Teacher Talked Gunman Out Of California Shooting Rampage.
Keith Ratliff, whose gun enthusiast YouTube channel FPSRussia is among the most popular on the video site, was found dead on January 3rd — killed by a single shot to the head. Ratliff’s body was discovered in the office where he stored many of the handguns and high-powered rifles.