Android Jelly Bean 4.1. Now I’m Mad.

Holy crap.

I just watched the hands-on video of the latest Android operating system. Not only is it the most derivative software ever created (which I cannot abide), but it is a nightmare.

There is a notification menu you can pull down, but there is still screen visible behind it on the sides and bottom, but you can’t read or use the screen behind it (until you raise the menu). Is google worried that you will forget you had a screen behind there?

There are Google Cards. Is that really the name for these ads—I mean, limited blocks of info—that come up in a search? Why did it only show one restaurant and Target and Best Buy? Is there really nothing else in that area of San Francisco, or are Cards exactly what we should expect from Google: more places for advertisements.

In the video, the reporter swipes through several screens… and all of them look different! This is not good for my blood pressure. “You’ll be interested to see what Google has done with Widgets here.” I know Widgets have been part of Android for awhile now, but my question remain the same: Why? It looks like the Microsoft Word of mobile operating systems. “Moar features!”

(Remember when Microsoft did some research and found that a large number of most requested features for Word actually already existed in the product; the user simply didn’t know where to find it?)

At this point in the video, I am saddened/perplexed. But now I become mad: the icons on every screen are willy-nilly. Why? There’s no reason for that. Is this the 90s? I swear to god, that is the messiest, most horrible “icons + other-shit” layout since computers were invented.

Next there is a folder (on a screen of messy icons). Why? And there is a translucent box with handles around the folder. Why? It looks like distracting, visual barf.

I’m sure Google has great designers. But everything (animated backgrounds?!) about Android OS seems like pointless clutter. Remember in the 90s those cars with a ton of crap from the JC Whitney catalog bolted on? They were “peacocking” + cheap + bad taste. I was hoping to forget those grimace-inducing “designs”.

Check out the video here.

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