Here’s a recent thought: We should never get angry at those under our care.
Teaching, coaching is the only proper response to mistakes and wrong behavior.
Easy example: one of my daughters cannot find things. Or, more accurately, she doesn’t try to find things. With few exceptions, every time she looks for something, or is asked to look for something, she immediately begins crying, claiming that she cannot find the item. She doesn’t even try. As you may guess, this is rather aggravating. However, as you can also see, scolding her would do nothing to help either the immediate search or her ability to search.
She needs teaching or coaching on how to search.
Another example: that same daughter is human. Meaning, she is wonderful and has flaws. Another flaw is her temper. She can get angry.
It is obvious that responding to anger with anger would not produce peace. What my daughter needs is not lectures, spankings, shouting-down, but coaching on how to choose a different response and what to do with emotions.
These ideas are, of course, in that practical, greatest philosophical work, the Bible, which says: “A soft answer turns away wrath.” That is not a magical incantation, or a spiritual mystery. It is a practical, logical principle. And it is difficult to do. It is the most difficult thing a person will do.
Of course, what this means is that we should never get angry. But even suggesting that will make some people angry–precisely because those people have little mastery over their emotions… at this point.
Some people might argue that even Jesus got angry. You and I have heard people use that argument. The problem with that defense of immaturity is that the most it supports is that you and I can get angry once in our lifetime.
How does a person respond with teaching and not emotion? How does a person choose their responses?
<choice-response thinking here>
<levels of conflict here>
<mastery/denial of self here>