The Hangover II

Well, the film “The Hangover II” is out. And it’s going to have a big opening week. I hope the studio recoups their budget… because I predict sales will drop off quickly. Here’s why:

It just isn’t funny.

I remember watching the first one (Q: How long will the studio milk this? A: As absolutely long as they can.) and I don’t remember laughing once.

“But it was so funny!” people say to me.

“Which parts were funny?” I ask.

“Well, you know… the part… the part when… Oh! I know! Remember when there was a tiger in the bathroom!” they exclaim, faces flush with empty triumph.

“Yes, I do.” I say, honestly and sadly. “What was funny about it?”

“Well…” they continue desperately, vainly. “Remember when… Oh man! Remember the Chinese guy?!”

“Yeah.” I pause. “He had a Chinese accent.” Am I supposed to laugh at Chinese accents? What a tired, horrible gag.

Their eyes widen slightly with the panic that comes as your core beliefs are about to be touched. “What about when he was naked?” they say, hopefully.

“I don’t remember that part.” Which is true. Why would I? Was it funny?

Here’s my theory: “The Hangover” was only popular for two reasons:

1) People believed they were supposed to think it was funny because they believed everyone else thought it was funny. Sound familiar? Yeah. People are like that.

2) Zach Galifianakis has a fun affect (second definition). I do enjoy most all of the comedy I have seen from him.

I may be alone in my dislike for “The Hangover” and however many sequels the studio foists on us. That’s OK. Not only do I dislike the Emperor’s new clothes (he’s naked, people!), I also dislike that people think his new clothes are great.

Grumpy Man says:

I have been uncharacteristically cranky lately. That could be part of my irritability. This doesn’t help:

Do. Not. Kiss. On. The. Ear.

This morning in church a lady with an adorable baby repeatedly kissed her baby full on the ear hole.

Sweet Mary and Joseph! Do some people not think at all? Ever? Do they never fire a synapse? Ever?

Why would you kiss someone in their ear? Does the person kissing not use their ears (in addition to not using their brains)? Have they no concept of loudness and proximity?

In case you cannot tell, I have been kissed directly over the ear hole. It is unpleasant.

“Please pray for us. The doctor just told us that our son is partially deaf.”

No sh*t.

Why don’t you have someone repeatedly kiss you directly on your ear hole.

Or just think it through. You know, with your brain.

Grumpy Man out.

Possessions vs. Purpose.

Possessions only, only, only, only get in the way of finding your purpose. Every teen I know (and most honest adults I know) want to find their purpose. It is worth knowing and noting that accumulating and thinking about possessions get in the way of that.

Tattoos.

A lot of my former students get tattoos. Well, it seems like a lot. It could be just a few. But must we worry about facts?

Here’s what I want to say about tattoos: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-down-to-last-hundred-grownups,20491/

The Blogosphere

Jeez.

The blogophere is entirely* twenty-something’s who know it all. Does such a creature exist? They sure are eager to sell me their answers.

* It is not all twenty-somethings. It just feels that way.

Maybe You Don’t Need to Give it All Away.

Man, you have to give away so much now.

Many people have written about this recently. People have said that “free is the new price”. People have said that creatives (people who produce creative work) have to give away almost everything. People have argued that you have to give away more and more value. You have to give away more than your competitor and certainly more than your industry gave before. Books and music and art should become cheaper and cheaper. Everything should be “shared”. Do you want to compete or stand out? Give away more.

But…

Geez, folks (pundits, bloggers, consultants). Calm down and look again.

I can see why many established artists and producers chafe at the idea and mandate to give more away. I can see why an artist would expect to receive more (money, accolades, reputation) than an upstart. “I made this through mastery of craft and obsession. Why is it worth the same as the product of someone who has not obsessed as much and has not labored as long to master the craft? Why do I have to give it away?”

And…

I can think of another argument against the frenzy to devalue the product: The “race to the bottom” is never sustainable. The race to the bottom is what destroyed all PC vendor’s profits. Refusing to join the race to the bottom is what explains Apple’s record-breaking profits.

Maybe you don’t need to give your product away.

IBM passes MSFT

By the end of trading today, IBM passed Microsoft in Market Capitalization. IBM is worth more than MSFT now. Stock prices go up and down, but I think this is telling. Microsoft is still technically worth more because their P/E is so low… but their P/E is about the lowest in the Tech Industry. Not a good sign.

On May, 26, 2010 Apple passed MSFT in Market Cap.

On April 29, 2011 Apple passed MSFT in profits.

Here’s the chart of MSFT, IBM, and AAPL for the last ten years.

Maybe stealing, bullying, and leveraging only works for so long. Maybe vision always, eventually wins.

Sharing vs. Capitalism

I just read The Mesh Manifesto (at the Mesh site).

Sharing is good and right and better (than not sharing).

Sharing is more Tao.

Would that we (myself included) shared more and more.

But sharing faces a formidable opponent in Capitalism. People who crave money and power aren’t into sharing.

It’s Vision. Not market research.

Steve Jobs to Fortune in 2008:

We do no market research. We don’t hire consultants. The only consultants I’ve ever hired in my 10 years is one firm to analyze Gateway’s retail strategy so I would not make some of the same mistakes they made. But we never hire consultants, per se. We just want to make great products.

via Daringfireball

This very morning, I was thinking/writing about how Apple doesn’t do market research or focus groups or design-by-committee. They are driven by vision. I was thinking about it because I wished that Education could operate that way.

And then Daringfireball posts (and links to) the above quote.

Here in the Internet age…

There’s no excuse to not know everything.

And there’s no reason to know anything.